Seems like some where I heard that "third time's a charm." Well, it's proven to be a DOOZEY for us. Goodness...where to begin!
Most of the day Friday I just didn't feel "right." It had gotten to the point really that I didn't know what "right" really felt like any more, but Friday seemed to feel even more "not right." I drank my water, walked around, laid on my left side, sat in the floor, etc. Nothing seemed to work. :( Of course it was a night that the kiddos wanted to camp-out in the living room, so Scott set up their cots and got them all ready to camp while I tried to rest in our bedroom. But, I knew the inevitable was coming; I was just trying to put it off. After the kiddos fell asleep Scott came into the room and asked how I was. Well, I started crying (which would turn out to be the first of MANY tears and crying spells over the next 48 hours). I told him that if I called they would tell me to go to the hospital. I really, really didn't want to go.
But I finally called at 11 p.m. Guess what they said? "Go immediately to labor and delivery."
We were checked in and admitted to a Pre-Op room right from the get go. If I was in labor and it couldn't be stopped, they needed me to have easy access to the operating room. Turns out, it was needed. But more on that later. I was once again hooked up to an IV and monitors. Despite the fact that it was my forth time being admitted for pre-term labor, it really didn't make it any easier.
The third time I was in for pre-term labor (just one week earlier), I had a bad reaction to Terbutaline. So this time they put me on Magnesium Sulfate. Oh. My. Word. I don't even know how to describe how awful Mag made me feel. There really are no words because Wretched and Horrible and Miserable don't even come close. Bring on the tears for Major Meltdown #1. It was about 4 a.m. and Scott and I were finally trying to get settled for the night. Maybe it was the darkness settling in; maybe it was nerves; maybe it was both combined with the Mag. I don't know what started it exactly, but what I do know is that I started crying inconsolably. I couldn't even talk and explain to Scott why I was crying. It was bad. I was so overwhelmed with being in the hospital again and being pumped full of these drugs that made me feel so bad. How could something that made me feel so wretched possibly be good for Porter? Everything that went into my system passed through to him, and my Mama Bear instinct just reared its head. I wanted to rip out my IV so that it would just end.
Well, Scott and the nurses finally calmed me down enough to where I agreed to be a good patient and keep my IV in. The Mag started working to control my contractions, so after about 3 hours they stopped it. Of course, 10 minutes later the contractions were back and I had to go back on. There may or may not have been more tears... I literally just had to make up my mind to trust God, and I laid the situation at His feet.
So the doctor on call comes around to "check" me about 7o'clock that morning. I was 3+ cm and 50% effaced - meaning I was in labor and the contractions were working. She wanted to continue me on the Mag a little longer, but then stopped it around lunch time to see if the contractions would kick back in. I was able to eat a little something once the Mag started wearing off and the doctor came back in to "check" me again around 1 p.m. Well, she did and she asked, "Has your water broken?" I told her I wasn't sure, but I thought it may have. She immediately did an ultrasound in the room, expressed her concerns about Porter's size, and then noticed calcification on my placenta. They did a test for amniotic fluid leakage, and then we had to wait.
But not for very long. About 30 minutes later a nurse came in and said, "The test for amniotic fluid came back positive. Since you just ate lunch, your c-section has been scheduled for 8:30 tonight." And then she left the room. I was nervous and excited all at the same time. Excited that it was finally time for all of this to be over, excited to meet my little fella, but nervous as everything about the c-section. Unfortunately for me, I had all day to wait and let those nerves build and build.
At 8 p.m. Scott is told to put on his scrubs and the anesthesiologist comes in to administer my epidural. I had done an epidural before, so in my mind things were still normal. But all that ended when they told me to lay back down on the gurney and they started rolling me down the hall. I had a really nice nurse named Mary who asked, "Are you doing OK?" as we were going down the hall...and I said, "No."
Here's when the tears really started.
I cried from that moment until after my surgery was complete. I had puddles of tears in my ears. Seriously!
While I was being maneuvered from the gurney to the operating table, the tears were coming. The nurses and techs kept asking if I was alright, and I just shook my head no. Because I wasn't. When the blue curtain went up, more tears came. When the doctor said, "I'll talk to you and tell you everything that I'm doing," tears came. They just never stopped. All I could think was this isn't natural; this is not the way my baby is supposed to come into the world. This is not how a mama's body is made to deliver. This is not what I wanted for my third birth.
Lucky for me I have the best husband that God could have given me. Lucky for me, my man of few words decided that he needed to talk to me non-stop from the moment surgery began until the time it ended. Lucky for me, Scott showed me how much he loved me when I needed it most. I am one lucky, truly blessed lady.
So Porter was born just a screamin'! Those rounds of steroid shots really did their job. :) It was very hard to be able to hear him, but not be able to see him. Because of his pre-maturity there was none of the stuff that you see on A Baby Story where the doctor holds him up over the curtain or the nurse brings him over to my face. Nope, there was a team of doctors and nurses waiting in the corner of the operating room and they took him immediately once he was out. While I was being stitched up, the neonatologist came and got Scott. We decided beforehand, no matter how I was emotionally, Scott was to go with Porter. It was hard to let Scott go, but nurse Mary came over and took Scott's place.
Mary was with me every second during recovery, and Scott made a couple of appearances. He was as good as he could have been - running back and forth between two floors to check on me and stay connected with what was going on with Porter. He brought pictures to show me what was going on in the NICU while I stayed with Mary.
So about an hour later I was taken to my post-partum room, and in came Scott. Ahhhh! :)
OK, if you're queasy, you may not want to read this...but I want to document everything so I don't forget. Although, I don't think I could forget this if I tried.
Not too long after being in my post-partum room my new nurse was checking me out and noticed that my incision was bleeding A LOT. She called for the doctor who did my surgery to come in.
Start tears. Again.
Now, my epidural was still in, but don't think of it as the same level of epidural that I had during surgery to block everything. Don't even think of it as an epidural during a vaginal delivery to ease that pain. No, the epidural was now more of a "take the edge off." And it really wasn't working at all.
So the doctor told me that she was going to have to drain my incision - all 8 inches of it - by hand. Meaning, she had to push on and pinch my JUST OVER AN HOUR OLD SURGICAL INCISION to drain all of the blood that was pooling up in my abdomen. It was the most excruciating pain I have ever been in. All I could do in my head was scream not to throw up because that would be the only thing that could make the pain worse. It lasted for almost 15 minutes, and when it was over Scott told me he had the utmost respect for me after watching the doctor do that. It was excruciating.
After that, things settled down. Pain has become manageable. A c-section is a completely new experience for me. With Ella Beth and Landon I literally had the best labor experiences of anyone I have ever known. Easy recoveries, great hospital stays, ready to leave and go home.
This time...it's really, really hard. The pain is bad, and I am constantly trying out different pain tolerance plans - 2 percocet at night, 1 every four hours during the day + 2 Aleve every twelve hours. Sometimes if I walk too much, it's 2 Percocet a couple of times during the day. There's no easy way to get in or out of the bed, or go to the bathroom, or get dressed, or shower. It's just a whole new ballgame. And I am terrified of going home tomorrow night! I'm not ready!!! I want to stay another week to recover more and get the pain under control. Here Ella Beth and Landon visit, but then they go to Nana's. It's hard to stay out of the danger zone when the kiddos are around. They are right at my incision level, and Lord help all of us if they were to hit my incision. Terrified to go home!!!
But, insurance says I must go tomorrow. Gulp!
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So that's part 1 of "Round Three." Tomorrow I'll update on how things have been with having a baby in the NICU. That's a whole new ballgame in and of itself, too.
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