As tonight comes to a close, reality started sinking in. Two weeks from tonight I will be leaving my family for 10 1/2 days.
These two weeks are going to be bitter sweet.
Unless you know me really well, you probably don't know that I am terrified of flying. I cried 2 years ago when the plane took off on every flight to and from Kenya (in Atlanta, New York, London, Paris, Cairo, Sudan...), and I cried last year at this time when the plane took off to and from Haiti - and Scott was sitting right beside me. I just really don't like to fly.
And I really don't like to leave my family. I miss them already, and I cry just thinking about kissing them before I leave.
But,
I also know that I will cry as I kiss those sweet people in Ngaamba, Kenya, before I leave them to come back home, too. As most of my heart is here with my family, I can't deny that there is a large piece still left in Ngaamba. And it is calling me.
Not everyone is called to GO. It's not an easy thing to do. Many are called to SEND and PRAY for those going. I have been called to go. As hard as it is to leave my sweet family behind, I simply TRUST that He has a
greater purpose.
The last time I went to Kenya, it was on the heels of Ella Beth's horrible illness. In all honesty, the only thing that kept me going was the obligation I felt towards all of my financial supporters.
I sure am glad for that feeling of obligation. Little did I know what God was going to do to work in my heart during those 10 days. Little do we ever know, really.
The Lord taught me so much about faith while I was there. He opened my heart to people who have nothing -
absolutely nothing - and yet they have the biggest faith I have ever even heard of. Every single day the people in Ngaamba pray about, not when, but
IF their next meal will come. They pray about their safety. The women wonder if their husbands will ever return home.
Yet they trust God for everything.
They complain about
nothing.
They are the true example of Philippians 4:11-13
"For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."
Why am I going back when it's so hard to leave? I don't know the answer to that yet. But I do know that God is up to something. And as hard as it is to GO, I'm going.
Deuteronomy 31:8 says, "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
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I would love for you to pray for me and our team of 12 going to Kenya on June 9. Please pray for our safety, our health, and that God will use us for His Glory.
I would also love for you to pray for Scott, Ella Beth, and Landon as I am gone. Please pray for their health and safety. I ask you to pray specifically for Scott that he will be able to manage well with his work schedule. And also to pray specifically for Ella Beth - she is such my little Mommy's girl, and she is going to have a hard time with me being gone.
Thank you.
