Teachable Moments

I love teachable moments. Perhaps it is because I have always been a teacher at heart. Perhaps it is because I really enjoyed teaching middle schoolers for five years before coming home to be a Mama and homeschool teacher. Whatever it is, I love those moments when a real learning connection happens that makes a positive change. While teachable moments are not always the most fun to endure at the time (think: first speeding ticket at the age of 18 and watching insurance rate increase - ouch!), those moments cause change that is ultimately for the best.

Jesus was a wonderful teacher to his disciples. He used teachable moments over and over again throughout His ministry and time on earth. I think so many parents are caught up on the word "discipline" these days. Discipline = Punishment, right? Well, no, not really. The definition of discipline is: systematic instruction intended to train a person, sometimes literally called a disciple, in a craft, trade or other activity, or to follow a particular code of conduct. The true definition of discipline is not about punishment. It is about training. And when training is done in love and respect, positive changes can occur.

The other day Buddy-Ro had a friend over to play, and play they did! They had a lot of fun being boys. And making a very big mess. Before time to say goodbye, both of us moms asked the boys to clean up and asked at one point, "Are y'all cleaning up there?" The answer was a resounding YES! So when both boys come bounding down the stairs two minutes later, we walked out the door and said our goodbyes. Fast forward to bed time when I finally went upstairs and actually saw the playroom. There were at least 400 Legos strewn across the floor, cars everywhere, Don't Spill the Beans everywhere, guns and bullets everywhere. Oh boy. My first reaction was to blow a gasket, I'll be honest. But I chose a teachable moment instead.

I called Buddy-Ro into the playroom with me and asked him to look at the mess. He definitely had his tail between his legs, so to speak, because he could see what a disaster the room was. In talking to him I learned that the boys had been having racing car contests trying to knock over towers that they built from Legos. Oh, they certainly knocked them over. Ahem. They played "bad guys/good guys" and when they ran out of ammo they used beans. All in the name of fun, and I have no problem with fun! But the mess was still there, and it wasn't fair to make Mama clean it up. And the more I thought about it the more I felt that it wasn't fair to make Buddy-Ro clean it up by himself either. I let Buddy-Ro go off to bed and told him we'd deal with it the next day. As I thought of what the best solution would be, I kept thinking that if Buddy-Ro helped to make a big mess like that at his friend's house I would want him to help clean it up.

The next morning I called my friend and asked if her son could come over and help clean up the mess. Now, before anyone starts thinking I am Cruela de'Ville, I had every intention to make this a fun teachable moment for both boys. We were actually playing outside when the mom dropped off her son, so we had a very leisurely discussion about the day and tennis shoes -- you know, the important things. ;) Then we go inside and walk up to the playroom together. I said, "So I hear that you and Buddy-Ro had a really fun time making this mess, huh?!" And he agreed and added some extra fun details about a ramp they had built for the race cars. :) Then we talked about cleaning and how we want him to be able to come over often since we are neighbors and the boys had such a great time together...so how about cleaning up next time so that all the fun won't be ruined by a colossal mess.

The boys chose a time that they thought they could beat, so I set the timer for 10 minutes. Well, they had so much fun cleaning and laughing and acting like super heroes that Birdie ran in and started helping!! They had those Legos and Beans and cars and guns picked up in 8 mins and 42 seconds, and they all thought they were big stuff. What's even better is that I had made cookies ahead of time as their reward.

A teachable moment. Discipline. Those two things do not have to equate with negative reinforcement. As Scott and I grow as parents, we have learned again and again that moments matter.  It's not what we say, what we demand that sticks -- it's what we teach. It's why I didn't ground Buddy-Ro and forbid his friend from coming over ever again. That would be punishment. Discipline meant talking to, and helping to train the boys to clean up, and then to reinforce the positive behavior that I really hope to see in the future with something good. In this case, homemade peanut butter cookies. :)

This is one of the things I love about our Heavenly Father so much. He does not strike down my mistakes with punishment. Yes, there are consequences that may befall a bad decision, but His wrath is not something that I fear. He is a gentle, meek, humble, patient God who disciplines me through love and by helping me learn to make a better choice the next time. And that is the kind of Mama I strive to be.

Erythema Multiforme

When life gives you rashes...freak out. Right? Isn't that what you're supposed to do? Well, when my 6 year old son wakes up one morning with his back looking like this, that's exactly what I did.



 

This is what Erythema Multiforma looks like. It is HORRIBLE. AWFUL. TERRIBLE. And it makes for a no-good-very-bad-day. Or week and counting if you're Buddy-Ro. It started the craziest way. On Tuesday we were at a friend's house and the kiddos were playing outside. All of a sudden Buddy-Ro started limping. I noticed and asked him about it, but he just shook it off. We left just shortly after and by the time we drove 20 minutes to my MIL's house, BOTH of his feet had swollen to twice their normal size, his skin was red, he could not stand on them, and he would scream if anyone or anything even touched his skin. Oh my word, you have no idea. My MIL and I didn't know what to think b/c I knew he hadn't fallen or twisted his ankles, but we had no clue what was wrong. I took him home, and by time for bed he had a rash. Hmmmm...they didn't seem to go together. Gave him Benadryl and sent him to bed.

And then the next morning he woke up looking like the picture above. As bad as the picture looks, I'm telling you it still doesn't do it justice b/c you can't see how the rash was raised and lumpy. So after calling the pediatrician and posting a pic on Instagram asking for prayers, my friend Carrie calls telling me that her son had Erythema Multiforme just a month ago. As soon as I hung up with her, my pediatrician called and said that he had Erythema Multiforme. At least we had a consistent diagnosis. ;)

The long and short of it is that it's a severe virus. In some people it simply causes cold symptoms. But for many children with severe allergies (Buddy-Ro has dairy, gluten, and very bad seasonal allergies) that Erythema Multiforme causes the immune system to attack the skin cells and joints. Of course, it would be something crazy and weird and horrible. {I was never, NEVER sick as a child. I had perfect attendance K-12 grade (although I did go to school my senior year with chicken pox). But my dear MIL told me that when her kids got sick it was always something strange, never anything normal. Ah, so that's where my kids get these crazy illnesses from -- their DADDY.}

Erythema Multiforme is supposed to last 2-6 weeks (according to the official description). Really hoping for the least amount of time possible. It has been a crazy ride. Every other day it has been a different joint that is swollen: 1) ankles, 2) hands, 3) knees. Maybe he is through that side effect, and can just get finished with all of the others. Soon!

 

 

School Pics

We started our school year much later this year than last year. Last year we started on July 15, and this year we started on Sept 8. Whew! We tried starting back while we were still at Nana and Papa's house, but there were just too many distractions and people constantly around that it just didn't work. But that's one of the joys of homeschooling - flexibility. Now that we are settled in our new home, school is going very well and we are enjoying our new school room and time together.

Pics from our first day:

These three.







 

The boy who fixed his own hair for pictures. The baby who is a m.e.s.s. And the big girl who is a little mama and {mostly} sweeter than ice cream. Yes. It's these three that make our homeschooling journey a great family adventure.

1 Corinthians 13 for Moms

I heard this poem at a conference that I went to a few weeks ago, and I loved it. It spoke directly to my heart. It helped me to realized that the "perfect Mama" is unattainable, and that if I go looking for it I will miss the wonderful memories that come from the normal, messy, everyday life.

1 Corinthians 13 for Moms

If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place,
but have not love,
I am a housekeeper not a homemaker.



If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements,
but have not love,
my children learn cleanliness not godliness.

If I scream at my children when they don’t follow instructions,
get frustrated and fault them for every mess in our house,
and have no grace and love,
my children learn that Mom cares more about having things done exactly her way
than about listening to the needs and hearts of her children.



Love leaves the dust in search of a child’s laugh.
Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.
Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk.
Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.



Love accepts the fact that I am the ever-present “mommy,”
the taxi-driver to every childhood event,
the counselor when my children fail or are hurt.

Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, and runs with the child,
then stands aside to let the youth walk into adulthood.



Before I became a mother I took glory in having it altogether.
Now I glory in knowing that God’s in control, and His grace is sufficient for each day.

All the projections I had for my house and my children
have faded away into insignificance,
And what remain are the memories of my kids.

Now there abides in my home scratches on most of the furniture,
dishes with missing place settings,
and bedroom walls full of stickers, posters, and markings,
But the greatest of all is the Love
that permeates my relationships with my children.



-adapted from 1 Corinthians 13 by Jim Fowler

Papa's Duck Pond

Peanut has this strange fascination with ducks. It seems so funny to all of us that his favorite animal is a duck. I mean most kids like dogs and cats and horses. But anything from baby chicks to Donald Duck to a turkey, to an actual duck he goes crazy over. :)

Luckily for him, and for Mama on long days, Papa's duck pond is a short hike away. OK, with three kiddos in tow it's more like a 15-20 minute hike. But, hey, it gets us out of the house and allows us to breathe in fresh air. So out we go with our left over sack of bread and head out to feed the ducks.

Peanut is not one iota scared of them. He will feed them, chase them, and call out, "Ducky! Ducky! Duu-ckyyyy!!!"





Birdie girl used to be semi afraid of the ducks, all animals in general really (except for cats). But since Peanut is brave, she has decided to be as well. Here she is feeding one of the ducks from her hand. She was SO proud and was SO excited that I got it on camera!!



Buddy-Ro likes to feed the fish. Off to the side so the ducks don't bother them, of course. ;)



And then when Daddy is home, he gives us a fun ride back on the four wheeler. :)



We are enjoying our country-livin'-fun-filled-outside-all-day-long days here at Nana and Papa's house. If I start talkin' with a thicker southern accent, I reckon you'll know why. :)

These boys

Living with Scott's parents is truly an exciting time for our kiddos. Scott's mom keeps her sisters' children and our niece and nephew a few days a week. For Birdie, Buddy-Ro, and Peanut - it means every day is a play date. We seriously have to work our school sessions around when the cousins will be here each day to ensure that learning gets done!

These boys are so fun to have together. They are all different, yet similar. And when you put them all in matching shirts - they are just too cute for words. :)

6 Year Old Interview

One of my favorite traditions once my kiddos turn four is to start their yearly interviews. We have been moving and life has been chaos this past week, but a tradition is a tradition. Pictures have been added with the fun answers! Gotta love the things a 6 year old boy has to say. :)

                                                    (Chocolate chip nose)

(M)ama: What do you want to be when you grow up?

(B)uddy-Ro: A worker.

(M): Why’s that?

(B): 'Cause Daddy's a worker. (And Daddy is his hero.)

(M): What is your favorite thing God has made?

(B): Dogs (Uh, really? I thought you ran away from dogs...)

(M): What is it you like about dogs?

(B): I can throw a ball and they bring it back.

(M): What’s your favorite color?

(B): Blue (This is the first year it's not orangey-orange...because now he knows blue is Daddy's favorite color.)

                            (His goofy face.)

(M): What is your favorite food?

(B): Chick-fil-A

(M): What is something that you don’t like to eat?

(B): Tomatos

(M): What is your favorite song?

(B): "Train Roll On" by Lynyrd Skynyrd

                              (Red velvet cupcakes, no icing. By request.)

(M): What are you looking forward to about turning 6?

(B): Helping Daddy with my strong muscles.

(M): What is your favorite thing to do?

(B): Play Mario Kart

(M): What is your favorite thing to wear?

(B): Clean clothes (Great answer. ;))

(M): Who is your favorite friend?

(B): Hayden

                          (First cousins, 6 months apart.)

(M): What is your favorite thing to do with Mama?

(B): Play hide and go seek with you.

(M): What is your favorite thing to do with Daddy?

(B): Play Mario Kart

(M): Do you like school?

(B): Yes.

(M): What do you like about school?

(B): It's fun.

(M): What is your favorite thing about Birdie?

(B): She's funny.

(M): What is your favorite thing about Peanut?

(B): He's kind and he gives hugs and kisses.  

                                            (This race track is awesome!)

(M): Where is your favorite place to go?

(B): Disney World

(M): What does Daddy do all day?

(B): Work


(M): What does Mama do all day?

(B): Work a lot at the house.

(M): What is your favorite restaurant?

(B): Chick-fil-A

(M): What do you want to eat on your birthday?

(B): Chocolate Chip Pancakes



(M): I love you, Buddy-Ro.

(B): I love you, too.
–
Buddy-Ro you are a mess. You are wild and stubborn and hard-headed and sweet and generous and snuggly. So many things about you are a paradox, so you keep us on our toes daily. You are loyal to your family and to your friends. You love to have your back scratched every morning, you want to eat breakfast as soon as you wake up, and then you are "on" all day long. You keep me on my knees because only God understands everything about you and I need His wisdom daily! You and Birdie and Peanut play together well most of the time, and our school days are full of lots of activities and reading together. Even though you are your Daddy's boy, You still share hugs and an occasional kiss with me. I love you dearly and deeply, and I am blessed to be your mama.

Happy 6th Birthday!

And it snows again!!

While snow leads to big messes with constant wet clothes and shoes and puddles on the hardwoods from constantly going in and out of the house...it is just so much FUN!! I honestly  have to choose to the perspective of enjoyment (freezing weather and constant wet messes just aren't my thing), but watching the pure JOY and AMAZEMENT on my children's faces makes everything good and freezing and messy about the snow totally worth it. Not to mention watching the snow fall and cover everything in a perfect blanket of white is just astonishing!

This fella could not get enough of the snow! Any time we came inside he would just stand at a door or window and beg to go back out.

And these two could not have had more fun doing anything else! Our driveway was a frozen sheet of white ice, and it provided lots of rides down hill.



I love a walking behind shot. :)

Such a happy boy!



Squeals of delight!!



Birdie wanted to pull Peanut on the sled...

...she may have pulled a little too hard! ;)

And then there are times like these when I'm the most grateful for living out in the country. We had nothing short of a BLAST!! Peanut and I climbed on the back of the four wheeler, and we laughed and squealed as the big kiddos were pulled behind us.



They quickly started competing for the best crash!



We had such a great time playing and freezing in the snow! Thank you, God, for such wonderful memories.

SNOW much fun!!

I'll let the pics speak for themselves, but needless to say the kiddos had a blast in the snow!! (Peanut didn't like it falling and blowing in his face, but once he got to ride on the sleds he was a fan!)















Day 2

Look at the smile on that baby!! He is too much for me. :)























Time to make Snow Ice Cream (I can't believe how many people didn't know about this yummy treat!! For future reference...2 gallons (huge bowls) of snow, 1 cup milk (we used unsweetened almond milk), 1 cup sugar, and 1 Tbsp vanilla. So good!!)