OK...I just need to vent for a minute. And this is my blog, so I can do that, right?!?!
Most of the "main stream" parenting books out there are driving me crazy. And by crazy, I really mean they are making me frustrated and down right aggravated! The new social craze is to "protect our children's self-esteem." Now, I completely agree that high self-esteem starts at home. Home is where our children learn their value, that they are loved, and that they are children of God.
But the world's idea of "self-esteem" is something much different. As a former teacher, we were not allowed to fail students because it would hurt their "self-esteem." Really??? Because I thought that if a student refused to do his/her work, didn't study for tests, and were belligerent then he/she earned a failing grade. But, alas, no. It would be too devastating to the child's self-esteem. Forget teaching accountability and responsibililty, we must "protect our children's self-esteem."
So, then come the main stream parenting books that say when a child asks you (the parent) "Why?" you should ALWAYS give him/her an answer. Now, when it comes to questions like, "Mama, why is the sky blue?" or "Who made me?" or "Why do I have to eat my veggies?" I totally get it. Children will learn from us, but only if we teach them.
BUT...sometimes a good ol' "Because I said so," is also a sufficient answer. For example, last night my kiddos were questioning everything from, "Why can't I sit on the table?" and "Why do I have to get a bath?" and "Why can't I have a piece of candy." I had already answered their questions...and I knew that my children weren't asking their questions out of sincerity; they were asking because they were being stubborn and disobedient. Of course my children know that they can't sit on the table - and we have told them it's a matter of safety before - so last night when Ella Beth asked why she couldn't sit on the table it wasn't a moment to worry for her self-esteem. It was a moment to worry about her obedience to her Mama!
And that is why "Because I said so" is sometimes an extremely sufficient answer. There will be times that I have to submit to authority and to a rule that I don't like simply because a boss, a police officer, or someone else in authority over me simply "says so." And that is just fine. In fact, in my opinion, my "self-esteem" will be stronger for it.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Multitudes on Monday
136. soft blankets
137. drinking 10 glasses of water a day
138. new recipes
139. learning to make homemade biscuits with Scott
140. saving money
141. driving through the mountains
142. meeting new friends
143. bonding with my team that I will travel to Kenya with
144. hearing people's Stories
145. finding a box of personalized napkins from our wedding 8 years ago and using them with our kiddos
146. fresh fruit
147. children's handprints
148. chocolate cereal
149. new clothes
150. affectionate children
151. Ella Beth excitedly asking all of the time, "Mommy, can I help you clean today?!" :)
Psalm 75:1 "We give thanks to you, O God, we give thanks, for your Name is near."
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Patience
“Love can only be patient when it is first grateful for what is right now.”
I read these words tonight while reading in the archives of Ann Voskamp and they knocked me off of my feet.
I am in no denial - I fully admit that I am an impatient person. But the sad thing is, I have more patience when the stakes are low.
What I mean is, I have more patience with the woman in front of me at the grocery store who has forgotten one item and begs for me to wait while she runs back through 11 aisles to find it than I do for my 3 year old son when I am waiting for him to put on his shoes so we can head out the door.
I have more patience during bumper to bumper traffic at 5:30 p.m. on a Friday evening than I do for my 4 year old daughter who wants one more book and two more songs before I turn out the light.
Grateful: adj. an appreciative attitude for what one has received.
“Love can only be patient when it is first grateful for what is right now.”
If I actually took the time to savor the "right now" of every moment, would I really be such an impatient person? If I took the time to savor reading to my daughter, to be thankful that my little boy has two strong legs with two feet and shoes to cover them...would I be so impatient?
Would I snap so easily, "Stop doing that!" or "Just let Mommy do it!" if I stopped for just a second to be grateful? I have two of the most precious gifts that I will ever receive in my sights and by my sides at least 13 solid hours each day. But am I truly grateful for the "right now" of each moment?
1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient..."
In God's Holy Word, the definition of love begins with Patient and I am humbled. It is my prayer that the Holy Spirit will nudge me to chose gratitude over impatience; to smile at the mess makers instead of scolding the mess. That I may encourage my children out of love and patience, and savor all of the fleeting moments that I can never get back.
I read these words tonight while reading in the archives of Ann Voskamp and they knocked me off of my feet.
I am in no denial - I fully admit that I am an impatient person. But the sad thing is, I have more patience when the stakes are low.
What I mean is, I have more patience with the woman in front of me at the grocery store who has forgotten one item and begs for me to wait while she runs back through 11 aisles to find it than I do for my 3 year old son when I am waiting for him to put on his shoes so we can head out the door.
I have more patience during bumper to bumper traffic at 5:30 p.m. on a Friday evening than I do for my 4 year old daughter who wants one more book and two more songs before I turn out the light.
Grateful: adj. an appreciative attitude for what one has received.
“Love can only be patient when it is first grateful for what is right now.”
If I actually took the time to savor the "right now" of every moment, would I really be such an impatient person? If I took the time to savor reading to my daughter, to be thankful that my little boy has two strong legs with two feet and shoes to cover them...would I be so impatient?
Would I snap so easily, "Stop doing that!" or "Just let Mommy do it!" if I stopped for just a second to be grateful? I have two of the most precious gifts that I will ever receive in my sights and by my sides at least 13 solid hours each day. But am I truly grateful for the "right now" of each moment?
1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient..."
In God's Holy Word, the definition of love begins with Patient and I am humbled. It is my prayer that the Holy Spirit will nudge me to chose gratitude over impatience; to smile at the mess makers instead of scolding the mess. That I may encourage my children out of love and patience, and savor all of the fleeting moments that I can never get back.
Marriage Questions
This is pretty darn silly, but it was fun to reminence. :) Thanks, Cherish, for these fun questions!
-----
How long have you been together? Married for 8 years next month, and started dating about a year before that
How long did you know each other before you started dating? A couple of months
Who asked who out? Well officially he asked me out, but I showed up on his doorstep first!
Did you go to the same school? Nope. We didn't meet until we taught together
Who is the most sensitive? Definitely me, Scott calls me "Barney" sometimes
What about pets? Scott had a dog, Mandy, when we got married but she passed away; we tried having a cat (twice!)
Where do you eat out most as a couple? We really don't eat out much. Seriously.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? We led a missions trip to Haiti last year together
Who has the craziest exes? I'll say that I defintely had one, but that's a long time ago
Who has the worst temper? Neither of us really. He's more laid back, but neither of us has a hot temper
Who does the cooking? Both of us-we love to cook. But, I try to be a good stay-at-home wife and have meals ready when my hubby gets home since he works so hard to provide for us.
Who is more social? Definitely me. Scott is definitely a homebody
Who is the neat freak? OCD = me.
Who is the most stubborn? Scott. Hands down. And now he's seeing just how stubborn he really is b/c Landon is just like him!
Who hogs the bed? Scott. I don't move when I sleep, and he tosses and turns...and steals the covers!
Who wakes up earlier? Usually him, but only because he has to go to work and likes to leave early. I get up between 6:30-7 a.m.
Where was your first date? Georgio's Italian Restaurant...where I was introduced to people who had known Scott forever and had lots to tell. ;)
How long did it take to get serious? Not long. We both knew we'd found what we had been looking for
Who eats more? Let's just say we both like to eat. A lot. But, healthy food, of course. Ahem, most of the time.
Who does the laundry? We both do. Don't be jealous, but Scott has always done his own laundry. He even does the kiddos' if I haven't gotten to it! I'm one lucky girl. :)
Who drives when you are together? Always him, because he thinks it's the husbandly thing to do. I'm working on not being a passenger-seat-driver. :)
Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? That would be me. Always. And NO it's NOT because I am wrong more often! It's just b/c I'm sensitive, and if I've done something wrong I know it and can't live with it.
Who wears the pants in the relationship? Outsiders would think I do, but he really does. I like a man in control. I try to let him lead, and I do my best to follow. But we do make a good team when we put our heads together.
Who eats more sweets? When we got married, and for the first 5 years of our marriage, it would have been Scott - hands down. I never liked sweets, only salty foods. However, since having Landon my tastebuds have changed for the worst. Now we both have HUGE "sweet tooths." However, I can usually stop at one serving and Scott can't!
--
Now it's your turn to be silly with me! Just copy the questions and have fun answering them! Come on, you know you want to. :)
-----
How long have you been together? Married for 8 years next month, and started dating about a year before that
How long did you know each other before you started dating? A couple of months
Who asked who out? Well officially he asked me out, but I showed up on his doorstep first!
Did you go to the same school? Nope. We didn't meet until we taught together
Who is the most sensitive? Definitely me, Scott calls me "Barney" sometimes
What about pets? Scott had a dog, Mandy, when we got married but she passed away; we tried having a cat (twice!)
Where do you eat out most as a couple? We really don't eat out much. Seriously.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? We led a missions trip to Haiti last year together
Who has the craziest exes? I'll say that I defintely had one, but that's a long time ago
Who has the worst temper? Neither of us really. He's more laid back, but neither of us has a hot temper
Who does the cooking? Both of us-we love to cook. But, I try to be a good stay-at-home wife and have meals ready when my hubby gets home since he works so hard to provide for us.
Who is more social? Definitely me. Scott is definitely a homebody
Who is the neat freak? OCD = me.
Who is the most stubborn? Scott. Hands down. And now he's seeing just how stubborn he really is b/c Landon is just like him!
Who hogs the bed? Scott. I don't move when I sleep, and he tosses and turns...and steals the covers!
Who wakes up earlier? Usually him, but only because he has to go to work and likes to leave early. I get up between 6:30-7 a.m.
Where was your first date? Georgio's Italian Restaurant...where I was introduced to people who had known Scott forever and had lots to tell. ;)
How long did it take to get serious? Not long. We both knew we'd found what we had been looking for
Who eats more? Let's just say we both like to eat. A lot. But, healthy food, of course. Ahem, most of the time.
Who does the laundry? We both do. Don't be jealous, but Scott has always done his own laundry. He even does the kiddos' if I haven't gotten to it! I'm one lucky girl. :)
Who drives when you are together? Always him, because he thinks it's the husbandly thing to do. I'm working on not being a passenger-seat-driver. :)
Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? That would be me. Always. And NO it's NOT because I am wrong more often! It's just b/c I'm sensitive, and if I've done something wrong I know it and can't live with it.
Who wears the pants in the relationship? Outsiders would think I do, but he really does. I like a man in control. I try to let him lead, and I do my best to follow. But we do make a good team when we put our heads together.
Who eats more sweets? When we got married, and for the first 5 years of our marriage, it would have been Scott - hands down. I never liked sweets, only salty foods. However, since having Landon my tastebuds have changed for the worst. Now we both have HUGE "sweet tooths." However, I can usually stop at one serving and Scott can't!
--
Now it's your turn to be silly with me! Just copy the questions and have fun answering them! Come on, you know you want to. :)
Monday, March 21, 2011
Multitudes on Monday
118. Kind strangers who share coupons in Old Navy
119. Homemade granola bars
120. Candles burning
121. Friends who nominate you to do something you'd never nominate yourself for
122. Cooperative kiddos during a commercial shoot - no matter how cool and windy it got
123. Meeting people from Japan and seeing that people everywhere are all the same
124. Seeing the need for God in everyone's eyes, and knowing that He will meet that need if we just trust Him
125. Fresh produce - especially when it's free
126. Working in the garden as a family
127. Re-purposing items
128. Spring
129. How proud Ella Beth is to show off her room to everyone who visits...even if he/she has been here 100 times before
130. Going to the zoo with friends again and again
131. An upcoming girls & kiddos only vacation to the lake
132. Evening runs
133. Fluffy pillows
134. Pictures as artwork all through our home
135. Nostalgic items from my grandparents
Colossians 4:2 "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."
Sunday, March 20, 2011
What I imagined
This is what I always imagined when I had a little girl...
Ahhh. Isn't she just sweet and girlie and gentle.
But THIS is the little girl God imagined for me...
His ways are greater than my ways!
Now...we were on the same page, God and I, when I imagined what it would be like to have a little boy. :)
But THIS is the little girl God imagined for me...
Now...we were on the same page, God and I, when I imagined what it would be like to have a little boy. :)
Monday, March 14, 2011
Multitudes on Mondays
106. Sweet hats for newborn baby photo shoots.
107. A baby who sleeps through an entire shoot, no matter what position I put her in.
108. Scott's face when I tell him I'd really like another baby.
109. Days that are so close to Spring you'd believe the new season is already here.
110. Playing outside.
111. Tan necks and white backs.
112. Seeing Ella Beth and Landon laying next to each other while they watch a movie.
113. Hearing Ella Beth "stick up" for Landon because Mommy was getting on to him.
114. A child's sweet voice.
115. The "light up" moment when Ella Beth (finally) gets something new in school. ;) (Man, the difference between short vowels and long vowels is tough stuff!)
116. Open windows to let the breeze in.
117. Scott doing a chore that I normally do just out of thoughtfulness.
1 Chronicles 29:13 "Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise Your glorious name."
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)