Emotional Overdrive

Apparently my hormones are kicking into high gear this pregnancy. I was not emotionally hormonal at all during my pregnancy with Ella Beth, however, I've had two melt downs in less than a week.

I am so overwhelmed at the thought of having to care for two little ones. I still question why and how this happened. I am miserable in my pregnancy because I don't feel well (falling down our hard-wood stairs Monday didn't help this any), and I am exhausted all of the time. My patience is wearing very thin with Ella Beth. She has started to whine a good deal when she doesn't get her way...and I can't stand it. I would rather listen to her cry or scream than whine because she's not getting her way. I know that she doesn't understand why Mommy is tired and can't play wild and crazy with her any more; she doesn't understand why I can't "jump" her all over the house like Daddy does; she doesn't understand why it takes me two minutes to get from the living room floor to the fridge when she wants her water right then. I know that she doesn't understand. However, at the moment, my own understanding isn't making my life any easier.

We have finally started Landon's nursery. I've been looking forward to that for months. It's not boosting my outlook the way I thought it would. It is just making me more anxious about what's to come.

I feel like a horrible mother because this is my job. It's the job I chose. It's the job I always wanted. Lately, it's the only thing I want a break from.

My friend, Meredith, told me that I need "lunch breaks." She said that with every other job out there everyone gets lunch breaks. They have time to get away from their work and think about/enjoy something else. They also get weekends.

I suppose Mere is right. The longest I've ever been away from Ella Beth is 6 hours one Friday. Sometimes I think it would help me appreciate her and the time I spend with her more. But there's this catch...didn't I sign on willingly to be a full-time-mom? I feel guilty about leaving her. My mother-in-law has mentioned that I leave Ella Beth with her while I grocery shop each week. But, umm, isn't that what moms do? They do everything with their babies in tow? Then there's this other part of me who doesn't want anyone raising my baby but me - even if it's just for an hour or two. It's my job.

Okay...so my emotional rantings will stop here. I don't really feel any better now that I've "vented" but maybe someone can give me some reassurance that I will survive this. Landon's due date is 8 weeks away; I'm anticipating him arriving in less than 6.

Will my hormones get even worse? Heaven help me...and Scott...if they do.

(I'll be sure to post pics of the nursery as we progress. Right now, it's in the process of beging painted light blue.)

Emotional Overdrive

Apparently my hormones are kicking into high gear this pregnancy. I was not emotionally hormonal at all during my pregnancy with Ella Beth, however, I've had two melt downs in less than a week.

I am so overwhelmed at the thought of having to care for two little ones. I still question why and how this happened. I am miserable in my pregnancy because I don't feel well (falling down our hard-wood stairs Monday didn't help this any), and I am exhausted all of the time. My patience is wearing very thin with Ella Beth. She has started to whine a good deal when she doesn't get her way...and I can't stand it. I would rather listen to her cry or scream than whine because she's not getting her way. I know that she doesn't understand why Mommy is tired and can't play wild and crazy with her any more; she doesn't understand why I can't "jump" her all over the house like Daddy does; she doesn't understand why it takes me two minutes to get from the living room floor to the fridge when she wants her water right then. I know that she doesn't understand. However, at the moment, my own understanding isn't making my life any easier.

We have finally started Landon's nursery. I've been looking forward to that for months. It's not boosting my outlook the way I thought it would. It is just making me more anxious about what's to come.

I feel like a horrible mother because this is my job. It's the job I chose. It's the job I always wanted. Lately, it's the only thing I want a break from.

My friend, Meredith, told me that I need "lunch breaks." She said that with every other job out there everyone gets lunch breaks. They have time to get away from their work and think about/enjoy something else. They also get weekends.

I suppose Mere is right. The longest I've ever been away from Ella Beth is 6 hours one Friday. Sometimes I think it would help me appreciate her and the time I spend with her more. But there's this catch...didn't I sign on willingly to be a full-time-mom? I feel guilty about leaving her. My mother-in-law has mentioned that I leave Ella Beth with her while I grocery shop each week. But, umm, isn't that what moms do? They do everything with their babies in tow? Then there's this other part of me who doesn't want anyone raising my baby but me - even if it's just for an hour or two. It's my job.

Okay...so my emotional rantings will stop here. I don't really feel any better now that I've "vented" but maybe someone can give me some reassurance that I will survive this. Landon's due date is 8 weeks away; I'm anticipating him arriving in less than 6.

Will my hormones get even worse? Heaven help me...and Scott...if they do.

(I'll be sure to post pics of the nursery as we progress. Right now, it's in the process of beging painted light blue.)

What's your opinion?

Okay, so I am asking for your opinion on something that is coming up - TWO CARSEATS in a car. Where should Ella Beth sit, and where should Landon sit? I've been trying to think of the best place to put the two carseats, but can't determine where each would be best. Would it be best for Ella Beth to sit behind the passanger seat so that I can talk with her more (since she's older and needs a bit more interaction)? Since I'm vertically challenged, I won't really be able to reach either of them...especially Landon since he'll be facing backwards...so that's not an issue. Who should I generally put in first? I'm thinking Ella Beth so she can't run off and Landon will be in the carseat...but that means I lug Landon around the car and back if Ella Beth is behind the passenger seat...so would it be easier to have her behind me? I just don't know! I need some opinions and the "whys" behind them to help me make the decision!

Well, this morning at 8:55 the phone rings with a real estate agent who wants to show our house...at 10:30. Okay...I hadn't had a shower, the house hadn't been dusted, nor bathrooms cleaned since we came home from vacation 2 days ago...and she wanted to come in an hour & a half?! Can you say Mommy runs around frantically, Ella Beth cries b/c Mommy won't pick her up as often as she wants to be picked up, Mommy gets a shower in record time, and barely makes it out the door before the agent pulls into our driveway. Whew! Well, if anyone wanted to make a surprise visit, today's the day! Our house is spic-n-span clean! I'm hoping for a better notice next time. :)

What's your opinion?

Okay, so I am asking for your opinion on something that is coming up - TWO CARSEATS in a car. Where should Ella Beth sit, and where should Landon sit? I've been trying to think of the best place to put the two carseats, but can't determine where each would be best. Would it be best for Ella Beth to sit behind the passanger seat so that I can talk with her more (since she's older and needs a bit more interaction)? Since I'm vertically challenged, I won't really be able to reach either of them...especially Landon since he'll be facing backwards...so that's not an issue. Who should I generally put in first? I'm thinking Ella Beth so she can't run off and Landon will be in the carseat...but that means I lug Landon around the car and back if Ella Beth is behind the passenger seat...so would it be easier to have her behind me? I just don't know! I need some opinions and the "whys" behind them to help me make the decision!

Well, this morning at 8:55 the phone rings with a real estate agent who wants to show our house...at 10:30. Okay...I hadn't had a shower, the house hadn't been dusted, nor bathrooms cleaned since we came home from vacation 2 days ago...and she wanted to come in an hour & a half?! Can you say Mommy runs around frantically, Ella Beth cries b/c Mommy won't pick her up as often as she wants to be picked up, Mommy gets a shower in record time, and barely makes it out the door before the agent pulls into our driveway. Whew! Well, if anyone wanted to make a surprise visit, today's the day! Our house is spic-n-span clean! I'm hoping for a better notice next time. :)

Updates, belly shots, and a vacation!

So...pregnancy for me is nothing if not interesting. Most everyone knows that I just do not enjoy being pregnant. I think it's neat to feel a baby move inside of me, but that's the extent of my enjoyment. Last Friday, I had 6 contractions in 17 minutes; 4 of which were painful. I called the doctor who told me to come in immediately. Scott and I went in, and they did a stress test on Landon and me. It turns out that it was "false labor," but I was told to drink more water (as if that's possible) and rest when I can (as if that's possible). It turns out that my uterus is "very tilted" and puts an enormous amout of pressure (i.e. PAIN) on my pelvic bone. Do you remember ever falling off a bike and landing on the bar? Well, that's exactly what my body feels like all day long any time I move. It only gets worse the longer I'm pregnant...which is why I am anxiously awaiting Landon's birthday. I don't wish for him to come today or tomorrow...but any time that is within a reasonably early time frame is fine with me. :)

I know that I'm late with belly shots, but here are the latest two:

Well, our trip to Pigeon Forge was great. It was nice to spend time away from home for a few days and hang out with Scott's family. Scott's parents, sister (Karla), neice (Kaitlin), brother (Jason), and Jason's girlfriend (Justine) all stayed with us in a suite. It was a lot of fun watching Ella Beth and Kaitlin interact. It gave me a glimse of Ella Beth and Landon playing together! Ella Beth's first word every morning when she woke up was "Kaitlin." We ate out at lots of yummy restaurants, went to Dixie Stampede and some shops around town, and we spent Monday in Gatlinburg at the Aquarium and doing other "tourist-like" things. I have lots of pictures, but I'll just post a few. One of my favorites is Ella Beth in Kaitlin's shoes. Her obsession with shoes appears to be never-ending! Something that was surprising is that Ella Beth was terrified of the swimming pool. Over the summer, she loved the water; not so much now. (Note: I was terrified of all water - even the bath tub - when I was little. I hope Ella Beth doesn't take after me in that area!) There is also a very cute picture of Ella Beth playing dress-up with my tank-ini before we left. She is such a mess!

WOW - that's a lot of pictures! And, that's just a sampling! I hope everyone is starting off 2008 happy and healthy. Happy New Year!

Updates, belly shots, and a vacation!

So...pregnancy for me is nothing if not interesting. Most everyone knows that I just do not enjoy being pregnant. I think it's neat to feel a baby move inside of me, but that's the extent of my enjoyment. Last Friday, I had 6 contractions in 17 minutes; 4 of which were painful. I called the doctor who told me to come in immediately. Scott and I went in, and they did a stress test on Landon and me. It turns out that it was "false labor," but I was told to drink more water (as if that's possible) and rest when I can (as if that's possible). It turns out that my uterus is "very tilted" and puts an enormous amout of pressure (i.e. PAIN) on my pelvic bone. Do you remember ever falling off a bike and landing on the bar? Well, that's exactly what my body feels like all day long any time I move. It only gets worse the longer I'm pregnant...which is why I am anxiously awaiting Landon's birthday. I don't wish for him to come today or tomorrow...but any time that is within a reasonably early time frame is fine with me. :)

I know that I'm late with belly shots, but here are the latest two:

Well, our trip to Pigeon Forge was great. It was nice to spend time away from home for a few days and hang out with Scott's family. Scott's parents, sister (Karla), neice (Kaitlin), brother (Jason), and Jason's girlfriend (Justine) all stayed with us in a suite. It was a lot of fun watching Ella Beth and Kaitlin interact. It gave me a glimse of Ella Beth and Landon playing together! Ella Beth's first word every morning when she woke up was "Kaitlin." We ate out at lots of yummy restaurants, went to Dixie Stampede and some shops around town, and we spent Monday in Gatlinburg at the Aquarium and doing other "tourist-like" things. I have lots of pictures, but I'll just post a few. One of my favorites is Ella Beth in Kaitlin's shoes. Her obsession with shoes appears to be never-ending! Something that was surprising is that Ella Beth was terrified of the swimming pool. Over the summer, she loved the water; not so much now. (Note: I was terrified of all water - even the bath tub - when I was little. I hope Ella Beth doesn't take after me in that area!) There is also a very cute picture of Ella Beth playing dress-up with my tank-ini before we left. She is such a mess!

WOW - that's a lot of pictures! And, that's just a sampling! I hope everyone is starting off 2008 happy and healthy. Happy New Year!

Through the eyes of a child

Oh what JOY Christmas was this year! I learned so much through the eyes of Ella Beth. Scott and I (aka - Santa) got Ella Beth a kitchen for Christmas. We were anticipating it being moved to the playroom of our new house, but when that got nixed...I had decided that I was not going to have a tacky play-kitchen set up in my living room. Just not going to have it. Isn't is funny how God teaches us? Seeing how happy and excited Ella Beth has been over her kitchen has made me content to leave it out for everyone to see. I still wish that there was a playroom in the near future, but since there doesn't seem to be...I am happy watching her enjoy herself "cooking and cleaning" all day long.

Ella Beth got so much stuff for Christmas...a baby doll we named Anna, accessories for Anna which Ella Beth absolutely loves, a bus with people that move and sing, blocks - 120 of them!, puzzles, a tractor with a farmer and animals that make noises, money for savings bonds, clothes, her name painted and framed (meant for playroom...still wondering where to put it), books that have at least one kitty in each (a must), and various food items for her kitchen. Way too much, but she has enjoyed it all.

Okay...what I know you really want - PICTURES:

I hope your Christmas was as wonderful as ours. It was so much fun to share in the love of Jesus with Ella Beth. Next year it will be even more fun with Landon in our family!

We leave for Gatlinburg on Friday, so I'll be taking a short hiatus. Plenty of pictures to share when we get back...that's a promise!

Happy 2008!