The Power of Prayer

To be honest, I can't believe the outcome of today's doctor appointment. When we left the doctor's office last week with very unsettling, and what seemed to be inevitable news, I really didn't expect much more than the worst.

Not that I'm a pessimist, because I am not. But because I typically trust what the doctor has to say. So when the doctor said, "your body probably knows something is wrong and is trying to get rid of it [baby]" - I took the news at face value.

And I waited. And waited. And the bleeding started. I called, and was told to wait just a little longer because the earliest I could come in was Tuesday (today). So, I waited. It was hard.

I prayed for this baby, but more than anything I prayed for God's will. And that I would trust His will.

Many other people were praying, too. Friends, family, strangers, neighbors. People were praying for me and for this tiny life within me.

And, I am amazed. Amazed at the thought of being lifted up to our Heavenly Father over and over again. Little ol' me. Amazed that friends are so dear and they call repeatedly to check in and see if there is anything they could do. Amazed that they really meant their offers, too.

But, above all else, I am amazed that God would choose to work another miracle inside my womb.

Because, I am pregnant!

The baby looks great!

And, the bleeding has been caused by a subchorionic hematoma on my uterus. The doctor said that it should "bleed out" on its own. Of course this isn't the best news because a subchorionic hematoma is very rare - occuring in only 1% of pregnancies. But, I am just trusting.

Trusting that God is in control.

And trusting in the power of prayer.

Multitudes on Monday

433. putting one foot in front of the other

434. friends

435. prayers from strangers

436. a God who holds fast

437. never walking alone

438. looking back over the last week and seeing only one set of footprints

Psalm 9:1 "I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart."

Pain reminds this heart that this is not our home

This has been one of those weeks that I wish I could undo and not have to live through. But that's not how life works, is it?

In late August I found out I was pregnant. I got pregnant on the pill. Again. For the third time; second time this year. A long miscarriage in March. I didn't know I was pregnant because I was on the pill, so I had to go through the miscarriage on my own because by the time I realized something was wrong, it was too late for a DNC. March 5-April 15 was pretty miserable.

And, now, things are hard. I went for my first prenatal appointment this past Tuesday at 8 in the morning. Scott and I had finally gotten over the shock that I am pregnant again, only to be faced with a trial that we weren't prepared for.

The doctor did an ultrasound to measure the baby and give a due date. But, we didn't get that far. Quickly into the ultrasound, the doctor told us that things didn't look good. The embryonic sack is far bigger than the baby. He said that is a high indication that my body "knows something is wrong with the baby and is trying to get rid of it." Not something any mother wants to hear - whether a pregnancy is a surprise or not. So, I was sent home to play the waiting game. The hard part.

I have been on pins and needles - will I miscarry or not? Will it be this morning? During the night? And then I start spotting yesterday. So is the inevitable underway? I call the doctor, and he says that this is not necessarily a sign that I am miscarrying, but it could be. He wants me to come in next Tuesday for another ultrasound to determine how things are progressing - toward the good or toward the end?

I hurt. I hurt physically with cramping and nausea that both last all day and into the night. And, my heart hurts. I have a tiny life inside of me - a life of which we saw a tiny heartbeat fluttering. But I could be losing it. Does the baby feel any pain? Is the baby under stress? Can that tiny life feel how much I love it? That even if we were surprised, we are still in love with a life that Scott and I have created.

We have Landon as a reminder of how special surprises are. And when we look at him, and how perfectly the surprise of him fit into our lives, we know that this baby would be just the same.

Laura Story has a beautiful song called "Blessings" - and I have been listening to it over and over.

There are so many things in this life that I do not understand. But I still trust that God is good. And this song is ministering to my heart to remind me that even when we don't understand, God is good and has our lives in the palm of His hand.

I am praying hard for this sweet life to grow, and to grow healthy. But I put all of my trust in God's will. Because I trust that His will is perfect. And my deepest yearning is to live in light of God's love - resting in Him alone - and accepting that if/when He says "no" it's for a greater purpose. To draw me closer to Him. 

"All the while you hear each spoken need, yet Love is way too much to give us lesser things. We doubt your goodness, we doubt your Love, as if every promise from Your word is not enough. What if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if you healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near?

Pain reminds this heart that this is not our home.

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy.

What if trials of this life - the rain, the storms, the hardest nights - are your mercies in disguise."

Multitudes on Monday

422. family days

423. worship music

424. looking back through my Kenya pictures

425. good dreams of my grandparents, who I miss dearly

426. good breakfasts - with homemade biscuits, of course

427. cooking a meal (spaghetti and meatballs) and hearing Ella Beth say, "Mom, you're the best cook ever!"

428. unexpected hugs and kisses

429. Landon wearing a crown he made at church ALL day - even to Publix where he got lots of smiles :)

430. clean sheets

431. watching hummingbirds fly all over our yard and occasionally stop for a drink

432. a White Mocha from Starbucks in the middle of the day

1 Chronicles 29:13 "Now, our God, we give you thanks and praise your glorious name."

Beach trip - part 2

We arrived in HHI on Saturday. We were nervous about the weather due to Hurricane Irene having just passed by, but Irene did not affect us one bit. Well, as far as the weather was concerned. On Monday, Irene had caused huge swells about 100 miles off shore that were finally making it to shore. With those swells, came a very strong under current. And with that under current, there were jelly fish by the dozens for two days.

Unfortunately, my little fella got stung. It was awful. He was stung on his right leg behind his knee and the tentacles went up his swim trunks to his thigh.

Thankfully, Landon didn't get stung by one of these huge ones. (For reference, that is my mom's foot, and she wears a size 10 shoe.)

But the worst part of Landon getting stung was that he became very afraid of going back into the ocean. He would stand back and watch Ella Beth play and swim. It was so hard to watch b/c he had really loved the ocean (after not liking it last year), and then he was afraid of being stung again. :(

 

Scott and the kiddos continued finding crabs. This one is just ugly!

And we found sand dollars. They, too, were brought in by the under current. We saved hundreds of them in just a couple of days.

One thing I couldn't get over was how long Ella Beth's hair had gotten. You'd think I'd notice something like that since I am the one who fixes her hair every day, but when it was blowing in the breeze in her pony tail I was just amazed. And, we had a lady ask us, "Have y'all been here all summer or is her hair always that color?" It's always white!

Hilton Head is a very nature-friendly place. There are turtles (and alligators) everywhere! At the beach house there was a large pond with lots, and lots, and LOTS of turtles that we fed every day. They were so funny. As soon as you walked up to the edge of the water, they came immediately - at least 20 at a time. The kids favorite memory of this trip was feeding the turtles, for sure!

 

And, no beach trip is complete without a cute tushy shot. ;)

And, on our last day without any encouragement.......

look who decided to give the ocean one more try!

He never once mentioned the jelly fish. It was a PERFECT way to end our wonderful week!

Beach Trip - part of it anyway

We have come home from the beach, and I have SO many pictures to go through. Oh my word! Between my mother-in-law's 449 and my 889, there are 1,338 pictures from our trip to Hilton Head Island this year. I promise not to post them all. ;)

I'll let many of the pictures speak for themselves, but I'll give some detail where needed.

There was a LOT of playing in the ocean.

Last year, Landon wouldn't stick his toes in the ocean waves. This year was much different!

Love my boys, and love them together.

There was LOTS of playing in the sand, too.

And what else would we build but dinosaurs?!?!
T-Rex

Stegasarus

We got this canopy before we left for the beach. It was heavenly. :)

There were baby crabs all over the place. I still don't like them, even if they are babies. They look too much like something else with 8 legs. Eeeeek!

 

Harbor Town Pictures

We get a great family shot at this same section of pretty landscape each year. Yay for another good portrait!

Multitudes on Monday

401. eight glorious days at the beach

402. long walks and good conversations while walking with my toes in the sand and surf

403. missing bad weather from a hurricane

404. watching Ella Beth and Landon play

405. listening to Ella Beth and Landon squeal with delight in the ocean

406. building dinosaurs in the sand

407. how brave both kiddos were to pick up crabs - 'cause this mama wouldn't!

408. how well behaved both kiddos were away from home, their beds, their routines

409. playing cards well into the night

410. reading good books

411. watching and listening to Ella Beth on my mom's iPod - pure entertainment :)

412. watching the sun rise far out above the ocean and sensing the true glory of God's creation

413. being lazy under our sun canopy and not feeling one bit guilty

414. Landon finding shells with "belly-buttons" - one of the cutest things he has ever said

415. watching Landon bravely warm back up to the ocean after being stung by a jellyfish

416. playing frisbee as a family on the beach

417. watching other people take delight in watching my children play

418. hearing people talk about "those two white headed twins"

419. Ella Beth making friends with other little girls on the beach

420. being away and enjoying ourselves 100%, but coming home feeling rested and refreshed

421. family pictures at the beach

Colossians 2:6-7 "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."