On building our dream house, part 1

If you have known me long, or have kept up with me via blog for long, you know that I used to struggle a great deal with contentment. Living in a "well to do" area of the country in a very "well off" area can do that to a person. Our house was a tiny house. It didn't necessarily seem so tiny when Scott and I got married - but of course, it was just the two of us and that house was within our "5 year plan."

But the years kept going by and we kept adding a new family member every so often. And the house never got any bigger. I can share this now because of how far God has brought me, but I used to be ashamed of our house. I used to feel embarrassed about inviting people over because there was never any extra room for people. We would be like sardines cramped into a tiny can, one right on top of the other. I used to worry that people would judge us because of our tiny house.

Then I left my small spot on this planet Earth and visited Ngaamba, Africa and Port au Prince, Haiti.  And, finally, my heart was changed. God showed me how blessed I am with my material possessions. But more than that, He showed me that it's not material possessions that matter at all. One of my most favorite memories of my life will always be sitting in an open grass field in Ngaamba on old, cracked chairs with beautiful African women of all different ages. I sat with them while they played with my hair and we sang "Amazing Grace" together. Someone had written down the lyrics for them years before, and they clung to that piece of paper like it was the air they needed to breathe. I was able to teach them the very last verse of "Amazing Grace" and add my handwriting to that tattered, precious paper so that they could finish their song. We would take turns singing, them in their native tongue and me in mine, until none of us could sing any more. Tears streamed down our faces as we all realized that it doesn't matter what we have or don't have, it does't matter where we are -- Grace is simply Amazing.

Grace taught my heart contentment. I am so thankful that I was able to get to a place of complete contentment before we moved. A place in my heart where I invited people over and I moved furniture to fit people in, and squeezed more people onto the couch and sat on the floor just to welcome others. In fact, I'm sure that was God's plan all along. He couldn't bless me with more until I realized how blessed I already was. My deepest prayer as our house is under construction is that God will reveal to me how I can bless others through our new home. I pray that our new home will have doors that swing wide inviting others in. I pray that it will be a place of refuge for our family, as well as others that the Lord may bring to us. I pray that no matter how perfect or beautiful our new home is to us, that my heart will only find contentment in Him and His amazing grace.