The Castleberry Clan

Lately, God has been revealing to me a need that many don't talk about. A need that is Biblical, but many times breezed over because it doesn't fit in a box - it's not easily described, and culture surely wants no part in it.

The Holy Spirit.

I was given a book just a few days ago that I am already finding to be such a gift to me as a mother - I put it down only when Scott reminds me of how tired I am and how early the kiddos will rise. Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul (Angela Thomas) is a precious read. And, I don't say "precious" in the oh-so-cute-and-sweet-way. I say "precious" as it is a book that I will read again and again, and one day pass along to Ella Beth.

Angela Thomas says that the most important job we have as mothers is to care for our souls. To fill our inner longing with the presence of our Savior. When we are becoming full of Christ, how can that not pour over into our role as a mother?

John Ortberg (author of The Me I Want to Be) asks, "What is the state of your soul?" Are you easily irritated? Are you grumpy? Do you lighten the room when you enter, or cast a cloud?

Galatians 5:22-23 "The fruit of the Spirit (Christ living in me) is LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, and SELF-CONTROL. Against such things there is no law."

Would my children and my husband say that the fruit of the Spirit is coming out of me, or would they say that the fruit of Amber is coming out? Just thinking about their response brings me to my knees.

We as mothers need to care for our souls. We need to care for them deeply. There is no greater need in our lives than intimacy with our Savior. And there is simply no way that the Holy Spirit can flow from us if our souls are not full of Him.

I used to beat myself up for not having successful "quiet times" with God. Either I would put it off, or I would wake up early and begin my study only to have one (or both!) of my kiddos decide that they would wake up early too. I felt like such a failure. I wanted to spend time with God because I knew the importance...my soul was longing for Him...but it was getting complicated.

Or, should I say, I was making it complicated?

The Bible teaches that we are to spend time in the Word, spend time praying to God, and spend our lives living for Him. However, no where does the Bible say that all of that requires a 30 minute daily devotion. What?!?! Did you gasp like I did the first time I heard someone say those freeing words to me?

I went on a mom's retreat a couple of weeks ago (www.birdsonawiremoms.com) where Karen Stubbs encouraged all of us to simply spend time with God. No time limits, no "rules." One thing I have been doing for a few months now is to meditate on one verse in Scripture for a week at a time. I pray it out loud until my heart claims it as Truth. I have been trying to apply a specific verse in Scripture to my life for a week. For almost a month back in September, my verses were Galatians 5:22-23. Let's just say that it took a while (a month) to apply those two short verses to my life. I had a lot of work to do. ;)

But for the last week, my verse has been Isaiah 40:11, "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."

What a blessing to know that our Heavenly Father, Creator of all, holds us close to His heart. And, you know what I noticed in this verse close to the end of my week? It says that he GENTLY leads those that have young. How often I am so hard on myself - I feel like I'm failing as a mom (too impatient, too busy). But our Savior isn't beating us up. He is gently leading us to Him.

And that, that makes my soul full.