Recharged and Thankful

Sunday was such a good day.  Scott and I celebrated our 5th anniversary, and it was also the first time I have been to church since Landon's arrival.  I have always loved our church, but after being away for 6 weeks, I really realized how much I love it!  I felt recharged spiritually when we left.  Despite the message being about volunteering, it was still so wonderful to sing songs of praise and worship and hear a message of how to serve our Lord. 

Sunday evening, Scott and I went out to dinner.  He surprised me by telling me about 20 minutes prior to his parents' arrival that we were going out.  Thanks to my dear friend, Adrienne, we went to Provino's on a post-baby-moon.  It was the first time we've both been away from our little ones together.  I felt even more recharged after just spending 2 hours of quality time with my wonderful husband.  It's so easy to fall into the monotonous every-day routine of being parents, so it was nice to get away (even ever so shortly) and enjoy each other.  We even shared dessert...Yum-O!

I want to send out a huge THANK YOU to my friends who have been so dearly sweet to me over the last month.  You never know how many friends you have until you need them!  We are now on our 5th  swing for Landon, and 5th time's a charm!  Thank you to everyone who lent us a swing "just to see" if it would work.  Laura's swing has the magic touch!  Landon is sleeping peacefully in it right now, and it's where he spends most of the day.  He definitely likes to be elevated while he sleeps, and Laura's cozy side-to-side swing is perfect for him.  Thank you, Laura! We have also continued to be blessed with meals, visits, and prayers that have been so very much appreciated. 

Last Thursday, Jennifer K. called and asked if I was up for an adventure.  We took the kids to Central Park for a picnic and play time.  There was one point when I felt like "super mom" because I was pushing Ella Beth in the swing while I was nursing Landon.  No one knew, but I sure felt impressed!  It really gave me the confidence to go out with both little ones!  Thank you, Jenn, for calling at just the right time and encouraging me to get out! 

It has been a rough transition, but I feel that we're gaining progress.  Landon is still not a great sleeper at night, but he is feeling SO much better.  My friend Kimberly has been the biggest blessing.  Her little boy, Mack, has severe reflux and has been on lots of different medicines to help him.  Well, wouldn't you know that Ashley called her to see if she could help me (Thank you, Ashley), and Kimberly called with the best news: She had samples of the same medicine Ella Beth was on for a year and asked if I wanted them.  I cried after I got off the phone with her!  Landon has been a completely different little boy for the last week.  He feels so much better, is much more rested, and we are so thankful!  Kimberly, I can't thank you enough for reaching out to us.  You have been a life saver!

Also, we have insurance!  Hooray for that!  I had my post-partum visit this morning that I didn't have to cancel.  Landon can get a prescription for the meds he needs, and we can make all of the necessary visits to the audiologist that we need for his hearing.  Again, THANKFUL!

I'll close with a couple of pictures: one of Landon being sweet, and one of Ella Beth jumping up and down in her bed!  :)

Twenty

Twenty is...

1.  ...how many "months old" Ella Beth is today. 

2.  ...how many times a day Ella Beth asks to "hold Landon."

3.  ...how many grapes she usually eats with lunch.

4.  ...how many times a day Ella Beth takes her shoes off.

5.  ...about how many sheets of toilet paper Ella Beth can un-roll before we catch her.

6.  ...how many times a day Ella Beth sings "Jesus Loves Me" (as pictured here).

7.  ...the number of times Ella Beth asks to go outside on any given day.

8.  ...the number of diapers I change each day (this includes Landon's).

9.  ...approximately how many tantrums Ella Beth throws daily.

10.  ...approximately how many times Mommy prays for patience each day. :)

11.  ...at least the number of times Ella Beth makes me laugh each day.

12.  ...how many times Ella Beth asks for Daddy when she gets in "trouble."

12.  ...the number of stuffed animals she has collected so far.

13.  ...approximately how many minutes her bath lasts.

14.  ...the number of animal noises she can make (including donkey - which is just hilarious!).

15.  ...the length of time it takes her to eat lunch.

16.  ...at least the number of kisses she gives Mommy and Daddy and Landon each day.

17.  ...the length of time it requires to get her ready for bed after her long bath.

18.  ...the number of books she would "read" before bed if we let her.

19.  ...the number of times Mommy prays for patience each day (oh, wait...did I already mention that???)

20.  ...just a fraction of how much love my heart pours out to her every minute of every day.

I LOVE THIS GIRL!

Landon, Landon, Landon

Oh, Landon.  These last few days have been R-O-U-G-H.  Yesterday being the worst.  Landon woke up at 7:24 AM and only slept 1 hour between then and 4:00 PM.  ONE HOUR.  It was horrible.  The poor little fella was exhausted, but every time he would lay down he reflux would act up.  It has gotten so bad.  It now shoots into his nose with every single episode.  Since he doesn't know how to blow his nose, it stays in the back of his nose where he chokes on it and can't breathe.  I can only imagine how much it burns.  We have tried the nasal aspirator a number of times, but his spit up is so far back in his nasal passage, the we can't get to it.  It is absolutely horrible.  He's in so much discomfort, and there's nothing we can do. 

We are still in the "application process" for insurance.  We would take Landon to the doctor and get him medicine and pay out of pocket without hesitation - no matter the cost.  However, we can't.  If we take him to the doctor, then the insurance company will look at him as having a "pre-exisiting condition" and won't cover him.  (We tried to switch insurance companies when Ella Beth was little and they wouldn't cover her b/c she had GERD.)  Since we need him to be covered, especially with the hearing specialists and possible surgery that he may need, we just can't take him to the doctor yet.  Can you even imagine how horrible we feel???  How helpless?  If our other stupid insurance had just given us some notice that our coverage was being terminated, this wouldn't even be an issue.  Grrrrr.

All of this to say we would appreciate your prayers.  Scott and I are exhausted.  Unfortunately, his reflux isn't just a day thing.  It's really bad at night, too.  We have to hold him upright for at least 30 minutes after he eats, and sometimes that doesn't even help.  We want Landon to feel better soon.  Thanks!

So how is Mommy...REALLY???

It's always interesting to me the timing of things.  Over the past 3 or 4 days I've had a number of emails & phone calls from people asking how I am...REALLY.  I've said that I'm fine, hanging in there, doing pretty well.  You know, the nice responses; things people want to hear.

But how am I doing?

REALLY?

I'm stressed.

I'm tired.

I'm not getting all of what I need &/or want done.

Ella Beth is still sick for crying out loud.

Landon is sick.

Landon has had a few long crying spells.

Ella Beth has break downs at the same time.

Ella Beth has started showing defiant behavior.

I am losing my patience.

I'm not getting much exercise.

I feel as though I have run straight into a brick wall. 

There are just so many things pressing on me.  I hate my body and just don't foresee it getting back to what it was.  I kinda anticipated this since my pregnancies were so close together, but I was hopeful that it wouldn't turn out this way.  I hoped that having both babies to tend to would just melt my weight off.  No such luck.  When I'm already tired and stressed, feeling fat and ugly just doesn't help my day.

I am also having a hard time with my quiet time.  My ladies link group started a serious study of how to spend quality time with God in His word.  I was so committed to the study and was enjoying it so much.  Now, however, I either can't find time, or I have no energy/focus to make time.  I guess I should be doing that now instead of typing this post.  I just can't win.

I'm confused about this issue of discipline.  As a child, I was not spanked.  (I was a pretty good kid until I turned into a teenager.  By then...well, spanking was just not going to work.  Taking the car away, however, did. :))  Until recently, I have been totally against spanking - I've always thought that there is just another way of discipline.  Well, now I am considering the issue.  "Talking to" Ella Beth just isn't working these days.  She is pushing her limits, and I don't know how to get her boundaries in check.  Her defiance has started much earlier than I expected.  I can ask her nicely not to do something; I can sternly tell her not to do something.  And, what does she do?  You guessed it - what she wasn't supposed to.  She willingly and knowingly misbehaves.  It makes my blood boil.  What's interesting is that Scott has always been "pro-spanking"...until recently.  Now, he's the one who says she's too young when I bring up the discussion.  It probably has to do with her being a precious little girl, and not a boy.  Daddies are big softies I'm finding out.  But, what do I do?  Is almost 20 months too early for Time-Out?  Are there other options?

I am sure that all of this is "normal," but that doesn't make it any easier.  I've only had one actual breakdown since Landon's arrival...but that's just because I don't have time to breakdown.  If I did, I would have lost count by now!

Wow...being honest sure isn't as uplifting as "I'm fine; doing well."  I'll save that for the next phone call.  HA HA!   

Sling info, anyone???

Okay...so if I go about trying to find another sling to carry Landon in, what are your recommendations?  I tried the Hotsling, but the smallest size didn't work for me.  It was too big, kept falling off of my shoulder, couldn't be adjusted tight enough by folding it over, etc. 

I don't want anything bulky.  I am a simple girl with simple tastes.  I want easy. Practical. Simple.

Any suggestions???

1 month

Has it really been a month already since my son was born?  That seems impossible.  He just got here.  And, yet, I can't really remember life without him.  He's grown so much.  For the first few days he really had that "premie" look...skinny face and stick arms & legs.  Goodness how he's starting to fill out!  He is also noticeably longer.  He has outgrown all premie clothes b/c of his length.  He could still fit into them if they didn't all have feet!  He now swims in his clothes b/c there doesn't seem to be any "mid-size" clothes.  If they say Newborn, they mean big newborn; if they say 0-3 months, they mean 3 months.  Oh well.  Scott says that since he's a boy he doesn't need or want his clothes to be "fitted."  I guess he does have a point there. :)

Landon has started cooing and smiling.  Both of which are just so sweet.  I don't really remember Ella Beth doing much cooing since she cried the first 13 weeks; she did, however, smile earlier than Landon, which is interesting.  Cooing has to be one of the sweetest sounds in the world.  I just love to hear him "talk" to me!  Whenever he does it, Ella Beth is right there saying, "Talking to you!"  Here's a picture of Landon "talking" to Daddy.

Ella Beth has come to terms with the fact that Landon is staying.  She still has her moments, but don't all toddlers?!  She wants to hold Landon all of the time...however, she's sick...AGAIN.  What she has that she can't get rid of is beyond me.  She's had this "cold" since the beginning of December.  That is almost 4 months.  It comes and goes - one week on, one week off - but it never goes away.  Don't understand it.  Don't like it.  Don't know what exactly to do.  I am praying that she won't develop another ear infection from this cold.  She is having so much drainage, so I'm praying really hard.  When she doesn't feel well, it's very obvious.  I hate it for her.  Here's a couple cute pics of her playing in her room.  You can tell that her cold was starting b/c her left eye is pink.  That's always our clue.

Her favorite...Fish Face. :)

I still haven't dared to venture out with both of the little ones in tow.  Since the sling didn't work out and I had to send it back, I'm a little unsure how to go about it.  I guess I need to invest in a double stroller.  Any suggestions?  They are all HUGE...they are honestly longer than me.  I just don't know how to manage something longer than myself!

Off to get my baby girl!

Oh yeah...

I guess I should have mentioned that Landon also grew 2 1/2 inches from his 1st doctor's appointment.  He measured in at 21 inches.  Wow -  2 1/2 inches in 3 weeks is pretty good.  I am expecting all of my prayers for him to be tall to pay off!!!

Both of my babies are sleeping right now.  I've gotten in a little reading.  I'm catching up on email.  About to open some "real" mail.  Got laundry done.  Vacuumed the floors earlier.  Goodness, life seems too easy right now.  I know it won't last long, so I'm off to enjoy it!