Something I have found surprising being the mother of two is how different my children are. I guess I should have expected it, but my goodness! I mean, they come from the same Mommy and Daddy. :) I love both of my kiddos more than words could ever express, but I can honestly say that I love them differently. I have to parent them differently, discipline them differently, and love on them differently.
Ella Beth is our little leader. My! She has a very strong personality for such a tiny little body. She is hard headed, bossy, and she knows what she wants. But - for the most part, she exerts these characteristics in very positive and encouraging ways. She knows what she wants, and even to her friends (which I have to be honest and tell you that I l-o-v-e) she will not back down. She is not easily swayed into doing things that she doesn't want to do. Do I even need to tell you how hard I pray that this character trait will continue to develop through her teen years?!
Of course, with this type of personality there is a general struggle at home between Ella Beth's will and the will of Mommy and Daddy...but it is a struggle that we manage. And, I am learning, the more gentle my response is with her in this battle of wills, the more easily Ella Beth submits. Talk about learning from your children! Which is another way that I love Ella Beth differently than I love Landon right now. Ella Beth teaches me more and more about life, about dealing with others, and about myself on. a. daily. basis. ;)
Loving on Ella Beth requires undivided attention and intentional words. She is my little Words of Affirmation and Quality Time lover. I can show my love for her best when I am able to sit with her and spend one-on-one time with her. Her little ears are always open, too. Sincere words of affirmation (not just praise, but really building her up) light Ella Beth's eyes and her spirit like nothing else can. I am truly learning the power of words with this little girl.
Landon is our generous little helper. What a sweet spirit this fella has! If anyone within Landon's ear-shot mentions anything like, "I can't find ______" or "I'll have to go get ______" - Landon will stop whatever he is doing and immediately say, "I'll find it!" or "I'll get it!" and he runs off to do just that. It is absolutely precious. His overwhelming willingness to help anyone melts my heart and takes my breath away on a daily basis. And, I'll be honest and tell you that he doesn't get this trait from me. While I'm always wanting to help others and do more, I can usually find an excuse not to be as helpful as I should (e.g. not enough time, I'll just do that later, etc.). But not for Landon. There is not enough time for him to serve others! I can also tell you that I pray that this trait continues well into his manhood.
Landon has always been a snuggle bug, too. It was easy to pinpoint his love language down to personal touch. A cuddle or a carry go far for our little fella. However, it's also a challenge because there are times when it's not easy, feasible, or even inviting to carry around a two year old. There are times when Landon's craving to just be held comes across as being whiny. And, let's be honest, no one likes a whiny child. ;) It requires me to be very aware of Landon's needs so that I can truly see his heart behind the reason why he wants or needs my touch.
Loving on Landon, though, is quite easy to do. And 99% of the time, I am willing and ready to give him the physical contact that he desires. I simply realize that this time of sweet physical touch is going to come to an end - I don't see him as a 14 year old boy curling up in my lap! In fact, it's already changing. 75% of the time he wants to snuggle or be carried (during his "love me" moments...not all day!) but there is the 25% that wants to be just plain physical - wrestling, tag, "I'll get you" punches. I'm a little worried about the time that these numbers flip-flop and there are more jabs than hugs, but I still appreciate and understand how Landon needs to be loved.
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I know I am only the mother of two children, and that there are mothers of 4+ out there, but giving your children individual and intentional love is difficult and can be demanding. It's easy to try and create a one-size-fits-all "love band-aid," but that is just selling ourselves and our children way short. God gave these precious little ones to my care, and He has given me the great responsibility to love them and grow them as individuals. It is my daily prayer that God will give me the wisdom (and often times the creativity!) to love Ella Beth and Landon equally, but uniquely.
And isn't that what our Heavenly Father does for each of us? Could you imagine having to love billions of people? And having to love them all as individuals? Wow! I'm just glad that He is God :), and that His love knows no end. I'm so thankful that He loves me the ways in which I need to be loved; He prunes and grows me in the areas He deems best. And that is all I can strive to do for the two precious children He has blessed me with.
How do you love and love on your babies?
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