After a day like today, it's a wonder I'm still alive to tell about it. Crying. Screaming. Babies. Oh my. I don't understand it, but it happens around here. The strangest gray cloud that settles over our house just appears at will and brings forth rivers of tears. Mommy's own tears were flowing in the river today.
I remember wishing before Landon arrived that JUST ONE PERSON would tell me it wouldn't be hard. No one ever did. Now I know why. I'm losing my patience because things don't seem to be getting easier. In some cases they are getting more difficult. Example: Landon now responds to Ella Beth's crying with his own crying. Before, he just didn't respond; not any longer. Ella Beth is becoming more jealous of Landon, not less. Landon is still not sleeping more than 3 hours at night. This Mommy is exhausted.
Today, they both cried for over an hour. I tried soothing each of them together and separately. Finally, I just put Ella Beth in her bed and Landon in his. They cried in their rooms, and I went and cried in mine.
I just need someone to tell me that it is going to get easier. Please.
Despite this difficult day, I am still grateful to be a mom. It's much harder than I ever expected, and it's still hard to believe that it's me in pictures with my own two children, but I love them more than words could ever express. I honestly do. Here's a cute shot of Ella Beth and me together. It was quite windy, so little Landon wasn't outside with us.
We spent the day on Sunday with Scott's family. My mom had planned to come, but with my grandmother not at home with her any longer, she decided not to make the trip. Kathy (my mother-in-law) loved her gift, and I am anticipating the same reaction out of my mom. I had hoped that they would open their gifts at the same time, but my mom will get hers this weekend when she comes to visit for Landon's Baby Dedication at our church. I think their gifts will become an on-going tradition each year! (I would tell you what it is, but since my mom doesn't have hers yet...)
I hope all of you moms out there had a great day celebrating you! Being a mother isn't for the weak, so we should relish in those who appreciate us. :)
3 comments:
It WILL get easier! being a mom is tough and it's hard work, and there are some days that you are just getting through. but, honestly, it does get easier as they get older. it won't happen right away - he's only 10 weeks! - but it will happen. mostly the days are gone where i am just frustrated like your day today. not to say they don't happen, but they are few and far between. i honestly can't think of the last time, but i remember lots when Christian was younger. we still struggle with jealousy and C is 16 months old now! ok, that's not encouraging, but i'm just trying to say you are not alone in your frustration, or your joy! this is the verse i have posted in front of me this week: "A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day." Proverbs 15:13 hoping your week improves!
I don't have the personal experience to share, but my best friend has 5 kids ranging in age from 18mths to 11yrs old. She may have a 6th...she said it does get easier, but the first few months with any newborn is tough. I'm praying for you.
It gets better and better don't worry : )! Those 1st 3 months are SO hard. But once you get past that, things become so much easier to handle. It is so hard to function with little sleep. Ask for help, too! You need a break every now and then and there are people out there that are willing to do it!
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