Update from home

So, I am officially home.  Not officially well.  I am better, a little.  I am still in a lot of pain, but the cramping and spasms come and go now; they aren't constant any longer.  A little relief.

I have been able to nurse Landon since 12 noon today.  I am on 5 different medications:  3 separate antibiotics, an anti-nausea medicine, and a pain killer.  I called our pediatrician yesterday to ask about what type of formula to give Landon.  We ended up talking and she looked up all of the meds that I am on, and told me that I can nurse Landon while I take the meds.  I only have to be careful with one; I have to take it right before I nurse him so that it's not in my milk when he's nursing and it has passed through my milk before he has to feed again.  Other than that, there is no problem. 

I can't tell you what a relief that is.  Especially for Scott.  Poor Daddy.  He was up for hours last night with Landon who completely refused to take formula - despite the fact that he had not eaten in about 11 hours.  But, I can't blame my little fella.  He's used to Mommy's sweet milk, and formula just stinks.  I can't imagine how bad it tastes when he's already used to the good stuff. 

My official diagnosis is Colitis.  If you ever know anyone who has Colitis...be nice to them.  Be very nice.  I have never been in so much pain...and I've given birth twice.  Contractions have nothing on Colitis.  I am not exaggerating.  All of my intestines (all 5 or so feet of them) are infected and inflamed.    I have much more respect for my internal organs these days.  Just barely touching my belly is painful.  There is nothing but cotton shorts going around my waist for a while. 

Anyway, I am sure this email is seeming a little off.  Blame it on the narcotic I took about 30 minutes ago. :)  Thank you for your prayers.  We are hoping tonight goes well.  Scott is still going to be helping me feed Landon b/c I just can't pick him up; however, he should eat well and go to sleep.  You know...now would be the perfect time for him to start sleeping through the night.  I'll be praying for that.

Hello from the Emergency Room

After being in severe pain all night, getting sick about 20 times, and sleeping a total of maybe and hour...I told Scott that I needed to go to the hospital.  We arrived at the ER about 8:20 this morning.  I have gone through lots of tests, a CT scan, and things I can't really remember (I've been very doped up).  Turns out, I have the same infection that Scott had last fall.  Scott kinda thought that I was just being a weenie b/c we thought I had a stomach bug.  Now, I have his full sympathy!  He hasn't forgotten how horrible and how painful this is.  It is honestly pain beyond explanation.  Just trust me when I tell you that it is bad.  V-E-R-Y bad. 

Right now, I am receiving an antibiotic via IV.  I've had lots of things go through my IV today.  Because of that, and because I will be taking 4 more medications for the next week, I have to "pump and dump" my breast milk.  After these last two days, my emergency breast milk supply is gone.  That means we need MAJOR PRAYERS because not only does Landon have to take a bottle, but he has to take formula in the bottle.  For a week.  Scott will be feeding him at night, but he is still going to have to take bottles of formula from me during the day.  Oh boy.  He has refused all formula, and all but refuses the bottle from my mother-in-law.  It's going to be a struggle, but I trust that once he is hungry enough (hello! he can't go a week w/o eating!) he will take bottles of formula.  Also, because of his GERD, I have to get special formula with no lactose...and I hear it smells and tastes awful.  I will be so appreciative of your prayers!

This is also going to be a whole new world for me.  I've never fed my babies by anything other than myself, so now I will have to have bottles prepared each day.  Is the best way for me to do this is measure out formula in each bottle first thing in the morning and then add water when it's time for him to eat?  Can I warm the bottles in the microwave?  HELP!

OK, I'm closing this so I can get some more rest.  Thank you for your prayers.  I'll update again when I start feeling better and have more energy.  I haven't been able to walk anywhere by myself today b/c I've been so weak.  I haven't eaten in 48 hours, and now the doctor says I can only have liquids for at least two more days.  After that, I can "slowly incorporate solids back in my diet."  Do milkshakes count as a liquid?  Since I have to pump and dump anyway, Landon wouldn't be affected by me consuming dairy.  I'll be sure to ask the doc before I leave.  Yawn.  Off to rest.

Belly pains

This is officially the worst stomach bug in the history of my life.  I can hardly believe it, but it's worse than the GI infection I got 2 weeks before Landon was born that sent me into pre-term labor. 

I had to ship the kids off this morning.  BOTH of them.  For the first time.  Nursing Landon is probably what causes me the most pain because he rests on my belly.  Even when I try to prop him differently, he squirms and kicks b/c he's not comfortable.  And, what is he kicking???  My belly.  Last night was horrible.  Scott had to deal with a hungry boy that Mommy just couldn't feed.  I was up for hours getting sick, and when I was finished my stomach just hurts.  I'm talking major cramping pain that is all but unbearable.  I've eaten 12 goldfish and drunk a few ounces of water. 

I had to cancel a playdate this morning.  Hopefully, we can reschedule.

Off to rest.

Something is bugging me

Something is bugging me, and it's not nice.

I have caught the Family Shared Stomach Bug.  Y-U-C-K.  Ella Beth had it first.  Scott had it second.  Now, I have it.  It's awful.  My belly hurts. :(  Thankfully, Scott's only lasted 4 days.  Hopefully, I will be as lucky.  Are you thinking, "How is 4 WHOLE DAYS lucky?"  Well, poor Ella Beth's belly hurt for a week and a half.  Ten days my friends.  Bless her heart.  That was the most definite reason for my lack of blogging lately.  Too many horrible, disgusting, make me want to gag, messy diapers to clean. 

So, now I'm drinking a Sprite (not my favorite) and hoping that my belly will stop aching. 

Ode to Chocolate

O, Chocolate, why do you torment me so?
We used to have a hate relationship.
I didn't like you one bit.
But, oh, how things change.

9 long months of pregnancy sure changed me.
Now I can no more go a day without your
brown goodness than I can go without air.

But, I must resist.
I simply can't consume you each day.
I simply can't continue to use you to make decadent treats.
I simply must resist you.
I must.

But, I can't. 
How can I when there are newly baked chocolate cookies
on my counter tops calling my name?
I do hear them.
They do have voices.

They are calling.
They are calling.

I am listening!
I am listening!
O, Chocolate, why do you torment me so?

Ella Beth - to whom I completely contribute my love of chocolate.  Ella Beth - who is a chocoholic herself.

Where does time go?

I simply can't believe that Landon is 4 months old already.  Where has time gone?  I am trying so hard to enjoy every day with him because he's growing and changing so fast.  I will admit that it really is different with the second baby; I am much more relaxed, less stressed, I know there's an end to sleepless nights, I also take pleasure in his smiles, coos, laughs, and even his breast-fed dirty diapers!  Hey, those diapers are a treat compared to what's to come!!!  (You know it's true!)

He is an absolutely wonderful baby.  He's usually not fussy at all (now that he's finally on a strong dosage of Prevacid for his GERD); he generally only cries if he's tired or has a dirty diaper.  He will cry if he's hungry if I'm around (I guess he can smell me - ha!), but if he's with someone else he is usually OK going for longer stretches without eating.  He refuses to take a bottle (here we go again), so I guess he's just being stubborn and waiting until Mommy can feed him.  I'm still pumping a few bottles a week just in case of an emergency.  Ella Beth would usually take a bottle from Kathy (Scott's mom) once a week while we were at our small group Bible study.  Landon, however, is turning out to be a bit more stubborn.  Good thing I can take him with me to NP and nurse him during work when I need to.  (Again, beyond thankful that I'm going to be working for such an amazing organization!)

I completely hope I'm not jinxing myself here, but the 4th month mark has proven pretty big here in our household.  Ella Beth has started LOVING her little brother!  She is already trying to get him to play with her; she brings him toys, tells him how things work, talks to him in the car, sings to him, tries to teach him how to throw/talk/eat (I've gotta be on the look out with this one!).  She has also settled into the routine of Landon.  She knows that if he's hungry, Mommy has to feed him; if he needs a diaper change, Mommy has to change him, and she's usually OK with all of it.  And, with Ella Beth settling down, Mommy has settled down, too.  I feel that I'm not losing my patience nearly as often...I may even say rarely.  I feel that I am really enjoying both of my children more.  It is so neat to get a glimpse of what the relationship between Ella Beth and Landon will be like.  Landon L-O-V-E-S Ella Beth, too.  He smiles at her all of the time, and he watches everything she does.  It is so precious!!! 

Well, here are a couple of pictures I took of my little man last Friday on his official 4^th month "birthday."  Aren't his eyes just AMAZING???!!!  He gets those straight from Daddy!

(13 pounds - 25%; 25 inches - 50%)  Healthy as can be!

The Shack

I have recently read The Shack for my ladies' Bible study.  It has to be the most life-changing and powerful book that I have ever read, apart from the Bible.  It is a story of God's true love, redemption, and presence in our lives.  I want to recommend it to you; I hope that once you've read it, you will recommend it to everyone you know. 

The Shack @ http://www.theshackbook.com

A little bit from the book - a few tidbits that I found remarkable.

Mack is the main character, and he has faced the worst nightmare that any parent could imagine - he calls it the "Great Sadness" and carries it with him.  (In fact, the circumstance that the book revolves around almost made me put the book down b/c it is very personal and hard to imagine as the parent of a small child...especially a little girl in this instance.  However, I'm very thankful that I didn't give up on the book and that I kept reading!)

Mack is in a constant struggle to live with the circumstances in his life, and has fallen out of love with God.  He feels that God completely abandoned him, and wants to know Why did/How could this happen?

I found myself falling in love with God in a completely new way.  I found myself thinking about God and clinging to Him differently as I tore through the pages of this book. 

Mack was in conversation with Jesus in the book, and he's questioning Him on how life is supposed to work; how relationships and love are truly formed.  Jesus responds, "All I want from you is to trust me with what little you can, and grow in loving people around you with the same love I share with you.  It's not your job to change them, or to convince them {or to judge them}.  You are free to love them without an agenda." 

And when Mack was furious with God for allowing the "Great Sadness" in his life, God responds, "Mack, just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies.  Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes...Grace doesn't depend of suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."

I SOOOOOO hope you read this book.  I look forward to reading it again and again.  Yes, it's fiction; but it is based on so much truth in who God is and what His love is truly about. 

This book has the power to change your heart! 

***It is also out-selling the "spiritual guide" that Oprah endorses, A New Earth.  Now that's awesome!!!  We need lots of truth to counter the false teachings that are becoming so popular.

GO GET YOURSELF A COPY!  OR, ASK ME AND I'LL GET YOU ONE!