We as parents all know what it's like to be judged. We are certainly judged by those without children all of the time. For anyone who is reading this who doesn't have children, here's a warning: For all of the times you say or think, "My child will never..." or "If my child ever acts like that s/he will be punished." - If/when you have your own children - You will eat your words ten-fold!
That's a fact.....isn't it, Mamas?!?But perhaps the most painful judgements come from other mothers. People without kids, they just don't know better. But people with their own children - they do know better. And their judgements hurt.
The other day I was at Chick-fil-A with all three of my kiddos eating lunch. It was a day that we had a peaceful meal - no drinks were spilled, no food knocked off the table, no one complained about what s/he got to eat. It was a successful lunch! But there was this other mother who did not have such a peaceful CFA outing. Her kiddos were rowdy at the table, spilled their food, and caused the mother a bit of stress. To top it off, she had to take her two small kiddos to the bathroom by herself. Now this is never an easy task, but for this mama it was monstrous ordeal. Her little boy who was probably around the age of 3 was not happy at all about being in the bathroom. He pitched a fit and screamed so loud that the entire restaurant could hear him.
The entire restaurant.
As I looked around, I saw the same thing: huge eyes on other parents, looks of "What in the world?" passing back and forth between people, and the shaking of heads
in judgement. It was as if all of the other people in CFA had forgotten their own child's last tantrum. They had forgotten how difficult it was just to get to CFA with children in tow, just an hour after their own child pitched a fit about putting on his shoes or her jacket.
That poor mama did not need judgement. What she needed was a standing ovation for surviving the bathroom with two small children and the ability to come out with her head held high!
Why is it that we are so quick to judge others? Why do we forget that we struggle with our children and their meltdowns? Why do we forget that being a mama is hard? No matter what stage we are in with our kiddos, challenges are always there. Is it because we want so badly to portray a "perfect image" that we put up a front of judgement toward others? Are we too proud to recognize our own faults, but not too proud to point out those of others?
I'm not sure exactly what it is, but Ann Voskamp calls this the "measuring stick" that women use. Whether it's used to cut someone else down or to build ourselves up, "measuring sticks always become weapons."
Comparison robs you of the joys of your own life, and it robs others of the encouragement and support that they need.
That we all so desperately need.Before you judge, dear one, look to the One who is the ultimate Judge. Look to the One who knows your inner heart and see what He may want to expose
in you. Look to the One who knows the inner heart of that other mama and see how He may want
you to encourage her.
Life is too precious to judge others, so before you judge look out from your heart. No one needs more judgement in her life.
We judge ourselves harshly enough anyway."So then, let us follow after things which make for peace, and things by which we may build one another up." Romans 14:19
