Perfect In Weakness

2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."


There have been days lately when I have felt so overwhelmed that I can barely stand up, let alone put one foot in front of the other.

I have been weary.

Weary: –adjective;  1. physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc.; fatigued; tired: weary eyes; a weary brain. 2. characterized by or causing fatigue: a weary journey. 3. impatient or dissatisfied with something.

The physical exhaustion of motherhood is nothing new. Heck, that kinda set in during Ella Beth's first week of life - I'd say I'm pretty used to that. Fatigue, yeah, used to that, too.

It's the "impatient or dissatisfied with something" that I'm struggling with. I have continually thought that my impatience has been directed at Ella Beth (which can be a challenge with a 4 year old) - but after prayer and journaling and searching with the help of the Holy Spirit I have realized that most of my impatience is directed at myself.

But why am I so hard on myself? It's called a foothold - Satan knows my weakest area is Perfectionism and he is using it against me. I've been a perfectionist for a very long time. Perfectionist in appearance, cleanliness, doing things well, doing things "right." But what I am finding is that the more I strive for perfection the more I fall short. If Ella Beth doesn't act well, then it's something I haven't done well. If Ella Beth speaks disrespectfully, it's because I've done something wrong. If Landon pitches a fit and has a complete melt down, it's a reflection of me as a mother.
 
All of those statements may in fact be true. But I can NOT allow myself any longer to believe the lie that I must be perfect. Christ says His power is made perfect in my weakness. Made perfect in weakness. But if I can't let go of my weakness - if I can't stop trying to "fix" it on my own - He can never make perfect.
 
I'm not talking about making me perfect. I'm talking about how He can use me. But, He can't if I won't let Him. My weaknesses are of use to my Heavenly Father, and I need to start seeing them as such. I need to stop beating myself up day after day about my failures, and instead give them over to Christ for Him to use. "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." When I boast about my reliance upon my Savior - my need for Him in every area of my life - only then can Christ's power rest on me.
 
I know that I'm not the only mama out there who struggles with this. So I encourage you, just as I am encouraging myself, to boast about our weaknesses. We are not to be proud of our sinful nature, but we are to show others how our reliance on Christ's grace and sufficiency is a true testament of His love.